Women Came from the Penile "Rib" Bone

In the beginning, the God of the Bible created mammals (and a bunch of other stuff), and the males of these mammals had a baculum (penis bone) to aid in copulation. Quite literally, the bone enables the male and female to remain in coitus for an extended period of time maximizing fertilization potential. Perhaps the greatest invention by God, but he did not bestow it upon Man.

Or did he at one time but then took it back? Funny thing is, there is no word for penis in Biblical Hebrew. Is it possible that God took the male baculum to make Eve out of and that the perineal raphe is a sort of divine reminder of where women came from (recall: 'the Lord...closed up the flesh instead thereof)? After all, it is a well-known fact that men and women have the same number of ribs. So, perhaps God used a bone that, to the sheep-herders who wrote the Bible, looked very much like a rib, thus the false association. Or it could also be linked to the weak association of the Hebrew word translated as 'rib' in Genesis 2 (tsela) but appears elsewhere meaning a general support structure.

However, I rather like the former description, if only for its humor factor. God once blessed Man with a very hard penis, but now we must use a hydraulic system that depends on our health (blood pressure, mostly, which is affected by stress and disease). Seriously, what is up with God's thorough infatuation with the male anatomy and sex in general? Is it perhaps a form of Freudian penis envy (thus, God is a woman) or God is envious of the size/prowess of the human male genitalia (thus god is male)?

So, remember ladies. You were made from my penis bone. It is thus your duty to honor my gigantic penis.

(Note: Thanks to Jeb for finding my error in the title of my post)